I, we, you, they?

David has sent me an interesting question in respect of the 'Sport Diver competition' he is in, the one where one of the post workshop articles from Puerto Galera will be selected for publication by the editor, Mark Evans:

"Brendan When writing articles for diving magazines, are personal accounts unacceptable? I am reading my latest draft and there are definitely a lot of "I"s and "me"s in the article. The book about Travel Writing says that this is a common mistake by beginner travel writers. Apparently only celebrities can get away with this! What do you think? thx DK"

I guess the first thing to say from my perspective is that there are no rules; there are only techniques and practices that work for the target medium. When I say ‘works,’ what I mean is, did the article get published? This really is the bottom line, no matter what you as a reader thinks of it; if an editor decided it was good enough to publish, either with or without editing, then it ‘worked.’

But when you analyse what ‘works’ in different magazines four distinct categories of how to place yourself in the narrative emerge. And if I can emphasise, these are not my rules - they are just my thoughts, and perhaps they are best explained through the use of examples:

I…

In the March 2008’s Scuba Diving, Gil Griffin has an article published called, “Curacao’s Mini Splendored Things.” The predominant style she has used to place herself in the narrative is to refer to the majority of experiences through her own eyes in the present tense, although this would also have worked in the past.

“Even as I gear up…”

“Now that I’m attuned…”

“As I put my right index finger on a spot near the anemone, I wait… I listen very closely to its tiny claws…”

We…

In the October 2007’s Sport Diver, Brooke Morton’s “The Island That Never Sleeps – catch the rush of Puerto Rico,” uses the phrase, “we…” a lot.

“We jump in for a drift dive…”

“We see two hawksbill turtles in 150 foot visibility…”

“Once we arrive at Captain’s Point…”

Note how it’s also described in the present tense – is this an American preference?

 

You…

In the same edition of Sport Diver, Tom Morrisey, their editor at large, has an article called “Pick Your Paradise.”

“…you can see the mountains…”

“Cruising between walls that plummet to perhaps 100 feet below you want to explore each nook and cranny, but the twisting path draws you forward.”

I find this style of writing, where, “you will find…” interspersed with factual anecdotes to describe the environment the closest thing to a press release that you will find in the pages of a magazine. Often referred to as ‘advertorial,’ it’s written in such a way that the author could well have put together the whole piece without leaving their desk (and I am in no way suggesting Tom did). With this technique there’s no sense of ‘being there’ from the author’s perspective.

They…

Good quotes can often mean the difference between an article being viewed as the same old lame, I did, we did, you will see… or a living, multi-dimensional piece of work. Most editors want articles that people the landscape with characters and opinions and the good thing about this technique, you can express opinion without it ever being attributed to you.

I, We, you, they…

Where the article has a mix of all of the above styles. I don’t think there is a problem with either one of these being the lead, with other styles being secondary, but when they are all present in equal measure, your article is likely to be a confusing read and would probably not get accepted – too much work for the editor to repair it to meet their needs.

There’s no one style that I think is best, I have my own preferences, but ultimately it’s not my preference that matters is it? There’s only one person I need to please, to make sure my copy is in their preferred style, and that’s the editor.

David, I hope this answers your question?

Keep writing...

Brendan